So long

It has been so long since I blogged. The truth is that my computer got wiped and I forgot my password. Things are going good. For anyone that may not know I am 12 weeks pregnant. Things are going good. Some days I feel like I was hit by a bus all ready. My hips are killing and my kidneys hurt a lot. But at least things are going good. We are very excited. From the sound of the heartbeat it is a girl. I would bet on those odds. We don't mind. When you make girls as good as we do why not keep having them. Four weeks and we will find out. I can't wait. Ashtyn does not want a brother. She says it is a girl and her name is Ariel. Autumn and Morgan really want a baby brother. Molly just hugs my belly and says baby. She may like it now but I think it will be a different story when she is not the baby anymore.

I have a problem

Yesterday I finally started the task of minimizing our closets. I thought it would be easiest to start with the clothes in the totes in the garage. I also thought that it would be the best idea to do it out back under the tree, then I have to finish and can't set it aside for another day. It should be easy right? Wrong!!! I have a serious problem. When I am pulling out all of Autumn's jeans and thinking, "If I can just get rid of all but 10 pairs." That means I have to cut out 35 pairs of jeans. Then thinking "which do I get rid of the gap ones she's worn once or the limited too ones she's never worn." It has been serious stress. I am a little too attached to my kids clothes, and am buying way too many trying to keep them in style. Hopefully things will go well selling them on KSL. I haven't even touch Molly's clothes. There are 4 totes and a giant box of just 18-24 months - 2T. I thinking I need a recovery program. I was very proud last weekend, though. I went to yard sales and the only clothes I bought were for Lorenne for school. None for my girls even though there were some really cute gymboree ones. I have made it a whole week without buying any clothes for any of us. That is an accomplishment for me. When you realize your kids wardrobes are worth more than both your cars put together, it really is a shock factor. So if anyone is looking for girls clothes I know where you can get some name brand stuff for really cheap. :)

Looking at the silver lining

I have to just write to remind myself of all our blessings. Shawn has finally been hired up at the compound (airport 2) in west valley. This something we have been hoping for, for a very long time. Yeah!!! it means some job security and he will be doing what he loves, working on helicopters. He will be back on nightshift, but we are not complaining.

Autumn is getting better at softball. This is her first year and she has done suprisingly well. Yesterday Karolyn and I were doing her hair for their pictures and she was acting very funny. The next thing I new she was colapsing to the floor. She had locked her knees and passed out. It was very scary, but luckily I had the other half of my co-dependant relationship to help me get through it.

Morgan is getting excited for all day school next year. She is going to be the smallest 1st grader ever. She is a big help. She loves Molly so much. The only thing they argue over are the baby dolls.

Ashtyn is Ashtyn. Her vocabulary is growing as fast as she is. so she says even more random things. She definately catches thing that you think she wouldn't. Like the fact Dumbo gets drunk on the movie. She is our brown eyed monster. She is also my big sweetheart. She makes sure to come give me a hug many times throughout the day and say I love you.

Molly is getting huge. She is now sleeping in her own bed. And all we have to do is lay her down with her bottle and she's out. She is beginning to say lots of words and do lots of signs. Some real, some not. She has turned into a very lovey baby.

I haven't really done a lot. Just the same old stuff. I am trying to start a monthly group of making scrapbook pages so if anyone is interested.

We have recently had some events that remind us just how stupid the little things I stress about are. We lost one of Shawn's grandfathers. Thank goodness we went to Miami in April. He was able to see all of his great grandchildren before he past. And any future ones are there with him.

He was such a cute little old man. Very southern and very set in his ways. He was a great man. I didn't know him well, but you couldn't do the things he did and be a bad person. He adopted Shawn's dad and 4 brothers and raised them as his own. Any man that does this is a wonderful man. Maybe I look into it a little more than others because of my children and my fantastic husband. I have to believe that Waynes example is what made Shawn such a great dad to all our girls. Wayne also inspired Shawn to join the military, and it was Shawn's drive to make him proud that has pushed him so hard. I wish I had known him better. I know that through his Fantastic son, Dan. That my children will know their grandfather.

I was so sad I couldn't be in Miami to be there for Joan, Dan , and Marsha. I have come to love them all so much. It killed me not to be there in their time of need. I know the feeling was mutual for them. Shawn is going to miss his Grandfather greatly. It has just been recently that Wayne had told him how proud he was of him. That means more to him than all the money in the world. I am so glad that Shawn has support from that side of the family, too. I can't begin to say how much I love them. I just feel such a bond and hope that someday they can forgive me for ever believing the horrible things said about them. Enough random rambling.

I hope that all of you reading this know how much you mean to me. I am so glad to know that I have such a great support system of family and friends. It really helps get me through my bad days. Don't sweat the small stuff. I need to let everyone know I love you all and am so thankful for the great people I have in my life. Please tell those you care about how much they mean and that you love them. They may know it, but they still need to hear it a lot.

Thank you Wayne for helping make my husband the Fantastic Man that he is. Here's to you. You will be missed greatly.

Yeah my husband will be home tomorrow!!!!! It thas been a long 3 weeks. And stressful. To add to it I decided to move rooms around. I never make anything easy. I had big plans to paint and do all kinds of things. Now I am just hoping to have the house clean which probably won't happen. I know he won't care, but it makes me feel like a bad wife. I am hoping he will just be happy that I got the sod laid that we have been wanting for awhile. And moved the rooms around, because he hates to do that. I was hoping that I could devote the whole time to cleaning tomorrow, but I have to help my dad with something, run and pay bills, attend a kindergarten program and then haul butt to the airport to get him. Yeah. The king is coming home to the kingdom. It's so busy being a mom. I will be so glad to just get to be with him. Talking for 24 minutes in 3 weeks just isn't enough. I just hope he knows how much I love him, and I have every intention to be the good wife that keeps things spotless. But life get's in the way.

I miss my Husband

I miss my husband so much. He is gone to Canada for 3 weeks. He left last Monday and it has been horrible with out him. We didn't get to talk because it cost $1.50 a minute on our cell phones. 6 days is the longest we have ever went without talking. I made it through most of the week without crying. And I even was able to get to sleep at night without him. But yesterday I laid down for a nap on his pillow and I could smell him. I just laid there crying a little. I didn't want to move because I was afraid I would not find that spot again. Today I woke up and on Sundays he always cooks breakfast and that is what got me going. Not waking up to the smell of bacon. I broke down and called to leave him a message. I don't know if he could really understand the message through the sobs, but he understand I needed to hear from him. He called me and I was so overcome with happiness. It was a quick conversation, 4 minutes to be exact. He was watching the time because of the cost. It was enough. Just to hear his love in his voice and to hear him say he loved me. I'm not the kind that likes to be so dependent on anyone, but I am so completely head over heals in love with my husband that it turns me into one of those woman I used to think were pathetic. I am so blessed that I found my soul mate, best friend, wonderful father, perfect husband, and respected soldier all rolled into this fabulous man. I am so proud of what he does for this country. Even if it is hard on our family sometimes. His children miss him deeply, but say "Daddy's off being a soldier." You can tell they're proud.
Ashtyn is so much like him. When I am upset she says little things to torment me and make me laugh. When I was crying today she asked why. When I told her it was because I missed daddy she said "He ran away from you. Ha Ha." It may sound mean, but it is coming from a child who later said Dumbo couldn't fly because he was drunk. I am so glad I have my girls. I think sometimes they comfort me more than I comfort them. They are my rock. I am so glad that I found the person that I could love this much.

Grandpa Wayne is a cute little old man. He loves to talk to Shawn about the military. He is so funny to listen to. He calls one of the other men in the rest home Bobblehead. And told us about a woman with an butt as big as a couch. When we brought Molly in to meet him you could see a twinkle in his eye. Molly was trying to pretend that she was shy and would run past and hit his knee. We were so glad to get 4 generation photos.

The piano

The day that we took Molly to meet her great Grandparents, she got bored after a few minutes, so uncle Dan took her over to play the piano. I think that is when he won her trust. It was the cutest thing. She was so content with him no matter what they were doing.

I believe Molly can sense the people that have a good, big heart. That is why she bonded with Dan and Marsha so quickly.

More Miami

More Beach photos. I love the one of Molly and Shawn. Molly loved playing with Aunt MArsha.

Miami

Molly and great grandpa Saybolt

Molly and Aunt Marsha Cuddling

Molly and Aunt Marsha 2 hot beach babes

Molly and daddy going for a walk.

Molly being cute as always.

I just wanted to get some of our pictures from our Miami Trip up before too long. We had a fantastic time. Molly woke with a fever an hour before we were suppose to fly out. So she was a little crabby the whole trip. Shawn's grandparents were so happy to see her. We spent a lot of time on the beach. We allso got to go to Parrot Jungle and I got to hold a tiger again. Yeah. He was much bigger this time and a little angry, but it was still awesome. We got some good bonding time with Shawn's Uncle Dan and Aunt Marsha. They completely stole my heart. They do not have kids of their own so in a way I think they feel like our kids are their grandkids. And I am glad to share my kids with them. They couldn't get enough of Molly. We got Dan out in the water for the first time in years and anytime something brushed my leg and made me jump he'd say " Creature" with some real concern. One time he ran over so brave to protect me from the creature. We had a good time hanging out with Shawn's dad and his girlfriend, Marianna.














Molly on the beach. She was so cute and had so much fun.

This is Uncle Dan. I just love him. He is fantastic. Him and his wife Marsha made things so fun. And they LOVED Molly. They couldn't get enough of her.

This is the back of Aunt Marsha's head. We were all searching for shells for the poor children left at home. Please ignore my boob crack.

This is the whole clan from left to right back row: Uncle Dan, Aunt Marsha, Opa (shawn's Dad), Marianna (his girlfriend), Me, Molly, Shawn. Front: Great Grandma Saybolt, and Great Grandpa Saybolt.

Molly and Opa Cuddling.

Scrapbooks

For anyone that knows me, they know that I love scrapbook stuff. I seldom get to use it so I more collect it. I am not very fast at scrapbooking and I often get very frustrated when I scrapbook with other people because they create beautiful things much quicker than I can. When I do make a good page I will flaunt it to everyone because it is not often. I wonder often if it all worth it. The money, the time, the frustration, the space. But tonight I was reminded why I do it. I create my childrens scrapbook as a story for them written by their mother with love. There are all sorts of little hidden tabs and even writing on the back of some pages meant just for my girls. Now that they can read they are going through and giggling at all the things they did as babies. All the little things even I had forgotten. I am so glad I do this. They don"t care that the pages aren't perfect or that I mispell or forget words. Or that the stamp is off a little bit. They just love to hear the stories of their life told by their mother. Someday when they have children they can share it with them and when I am gone it will remind them of who I was and how much I loved them. I hope that they will be inspired. I may not keep a journal of my life, but I am striving to write the story of theirs.

P.S.
I love my sister so much. I hope she knows that she is my best friend. I don't know where I would be with out her. She makes me strive to be a better person and mother. And helps me realize all moms think they aren't doing enough. Because if she isn't an awesome mom I don't know what is. I love you sis. You are my hero!!!!!

Same Shit, Different Day!!!!!!

American Idol

I just wanted to see if anyone else had got a look at Richard Kagel the other night. Did any of you ever know he had interest in music? For that matter did any of you even know he was still alive? He kinda just disappeared one day. He used to be so cute !!! How sad.

Molly loves cake

Molly loved her cake. Shawn picked out a mini bright green alligator . She was more than happy to share with everyone. She thought it was pretty funny to make a big mess with it. And no one was telling her no. I was just noticing how shiny and healthy my hair was looking in that picture. Looks can be deceiving.

My how they grow!!!!

Molly is ONE!!! IT makes me so sad. I have been looking through all my pictures of the day she was born. Well what left that my computer didn't erase. It makes me so baby hungry. She is so big. It is amazing to think that when we found out we were pregnant I panicked. Our lifes were so up in the air and we were living in that tiny trailer. Everything just fell into place, and she really is a piece to our family's puzzle. She was the piece that was missing that we didn't know about. I don't know what we would do with out her here to light up all our lifes. She has the ability to make anyone feel like they are the only person in the world to her. She is always so happy to see everyone. If you are a stranger she is not afraid to show you how she feels about that either.

She decided about a month ago she was going to walk, then that led to running. Now it is dancing. She loves to shake her booty and twirl in circles. She is learning sign language and she picks it up very quickly. She is a big daddy's girl, but wanders around the house calling for mama. She loves her sisters. Her and Ashtyn fight over things all ready. Molly often walks up and takes things from Ashtyn, but she doesn't realize the fight she is picking. Ashtyn levels her then gives her love and they go on playing. In the afternoon when she hears the older girls come in the door she goes to them so happy that they are home. Morgan is her best buddy. They are inseparable most of the time. Autumn is her cartoon buddy. They will lounge and watch TV for hours if we let them. She loves her Papa. She loves popcorn and the second she hears it in the microwave she won't stop saying pop pop. She has mastered our stairs. She can make it up them in about 30 seconds and down them in about 2 seconds. She just lifts her legs and arms and slides. She is a big ray of sunshine. I am so blessed to have this little girl. I don't know why she picked our family, but there is no other place she should be.

We Love babies

Morgan loves her babies. She got a blonde hair, blue eyed bitty baby for Christmas. Now she has twins. The Brown hair one is a boy and his name is John. The blonde is a girl and her name is Belle. They are sleeping next to her bed in their new crib. Then we have the triplets that are in bed with her. Their names are Elley, Elle, and El El. And of course her biggest baby of all, Gizmo. She packs him around just like a doll. He comes to her long before anyone else. It is a good thing that she is so tiny because I don't know how else she would fit in her bed.

I almost forgot to mention that the purple M5 stickers on her bed stand for Morgan 5 years old. I guess it's just in case she forgets!!!!!!